Year of the Dog

With all the warm weather we’ve been having lately here in the sunshine state, this Christmas holiday is really looking up. Rain is predicted for a day or two, but overall for the past few weeks, it’s just been gorgeous. That said, I’m really looking forward to the passing of the holidays and the introduction to a new year. I know it’s such an arbitrary thing, our measurement of the passage of time -- January 1st is really just another day -- but I think any kind of fresh start, even an imaginary one, would do me some good.

I read two articles in the “Business” and “Lifestyle” sections of the daily newspaper yesterday which really caught my eye. The first pointed to the increase in lavish gifts Wall Street bankers, brokers, and pork barrel traders were buying for their loved ones this year -- apparently it’s been a really good year for them. We’re talking about $50,000 diamond rings, $1 million worth of private jet travel, $7,000 mink coats, $5,000 necklaces, $20,000 facelifts, $15,000 hair, makeup and wardrobe makeovers, stuff like that. This story warmed my heart. It’s nice to know some folks really are benefiting from the economy.

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, a new trend is catching on. In an effort to live more environmentally friendly lives, groups of people living in or about San Francisco vowed to spend no money for the entirety of 2006 on new purchases, excepting food, the bare necessities for health and safety, and underwear. Everything else was bought used or not bought at all. Apparently, this is a movement designed, presumably, to help reduce the average American’s eco-footprint on the world. The “Compact” movement has spread around the country, eliciting both progressive delight and spite from those who see these groups as out to destroy America.

A “compact” lifestyle has such a nice ring to it. I think I’ll start using it to describe my way of life. Just think, my very way of daily living has been on the cusp of a new eco-movement, possibly a green revolution.

And all this time I’ve simply referred to it as being broke.

I can’t say for certain, but I think all of my friends, lovers, and family members would agree that it would be nice if in this new year I could quit living an enforced sub-compact lifestyle and return to something a bit more normalized. Bad enough that Benjamin, Jacob, and Ryan went without presents from Uncle Dave this year, but even my attempt at an economical Christmas card has failed. I sent out a link to an online e-card, which has apparently been removed from the server. So instead of Santa and his deer singing a cheery Christmas Song, my message to folks was:

503 Service Unavailable
Apache/ProXad Server at badaboo.free.fr Port 80.

Perhaps I can follow it up with a 403 Unable to connect to the localhost Happy New Year message.

I was born in the Year of the Dog so I hoped that this would be my year. It hasn’t been, but I’ve been feeling a lot more like myself lately than I have been in years, so maybe that old dog just took his time getting around to me. Maybe the server error is just a final note to a bad tune, and I can get on to a better life starting today. I guess that’s how I’m going to think of it, because being depressed is no fun for me and this time of year ought to be fun.

Things are going to be better from here on out. Million-dollar Christmas gifts I can do without, but a voluntary sub-compact lifestyle would be heartily welcomed. By this time next year I expect I’ll either be mailing classic children’s books to my nephews, or mailing brand new ones to publishers.

It’s time to get to work.